Robert "Blovius Maximus" Turkel
publishing under the name of
James Patrick (J. P.) Holding
Robert Turkel operates a Website for Christian apologists. He bloviates under the pretentious pseudonym of James Patrick (J.P.) Holding. On or about July 16, 2007, Turkel made this fraud complete through a legal name change. For reasons that are probably too painfully stupid for normal people to think about, Turkel supposes that we will all now bow from the ankles and refer to him as Jimbo Pat Holding. Yeah, that'll happen. No, it won't. To us, he'll always be Robert Turkel: Fat-Assed Manbitch.
We're often appalled by Turkel's ignorance of even the most mundane things that appear in the pages of the Bible, but at least now we have an explanation for his ignorance. Here's what Turkel wrote on the Theology Web on April 14, 2006:
"Yeah, well, dude, know what I did in church during the sermon 2 weeks ago?
I sketched 40 pages of script for Shrike Team #3. Wanna know how often I
read the Bible? 5 minutes a day, to the Mrs. in the evening. Wanna know
how much I pray a day? 5 seconds at meals. Wow. I've got the brainwash,
huh????"
Turkel's beliefs and opinions have a shelf life of eight years, so what he wrote above won't expire until April 14, 2014. No kidding, this guy is a cartoon character who came to life by some as-yet unexplained mechanism. If you think his apologetics are completely worthless, just try holding him to his word of honor.
Anyway, whenever a relevant-to-TSR article "disappears" from his Website, we attempt to locate the article in the Wayback Machine and republish it here.
Tomb Visitor Checklist: Do the Gospels Contradict Over Who Went to
Jesus' Tomb?
(click my little ass)
aka J. Pee Holdingtank aka Skippy aka Robert "No Links" Turkel aka J. Pretentious Huffenstuff aka JayPee Hackingcough aka J. Petty Horseyhiney aka JP Handwave aka JayPee Molding aka JP Horsemanure aka JayPee Hiding aka JP Hyperbole aka JP Handywipe aka JP Hallucination aka JP Handout aka J.P. Holdup aka JayPee HoityToity aka
So Long, Dear John: Old Ossuary News
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Sticking My Foot In My Mouth. Again. When you're done reading Turkel's lies in the foregoing article ("So Long, Dear John"), read this
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Land Ahoy! (Yahweh's Failed Land Promise) - Part One
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Land Ahoy! (Yahweh's Failed Land Promise) - Part Two
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Farris McTill Wears Horizontal Stripes (Jehu's Massacre At Jezreel)
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Till We Meet Again - (Jehu's Massacre At Jezreel continued)
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Decontextualized Quotes - Turkel Explains His "Humorous" Reference To Muscular Dystrophy And All Of "Your" Other Misunderstandings. Riiiiiight ...
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Messianic Monkeyshines - The Jury's Passover Plot Proposed
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Farrell Till's Been On the Losing End Too Long
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Click picture to see the horse's ass